Acton at Home: The First Mentor

In this series, we’ll explore the importance of embarking on a hero’s journey, a foundational part of the Acton Academy St. George experience, and how it can begin before school even starts and be nourished all the while at home. So, what is the hero’s journey?

There is a story about a boy who got a brand new chrome bike for his birthday. It was everything he wanted…until everyone started getting new bikes that were red. Despite his parents’ objections, he decided to paint his new bike to match the cool, new trend. At first everything seemed to be going according to plan, until the paint started bleeding and left his new bike a splotchy mess. His parents had many options for how they could respond, including buying him a new bike, humiliating him by forcing him to still ride the bike he ruined, making him save up to pay for a new one, etc. However, they chose to teach him how to fix it. The process was long and tedious. The boy almost gave up until, at last, he experienced a small victory–the paint started coming off. Underneath revealed more than just the familiar chrome of his original bike, it revealed a sense of accomplishment and intrinsic motivation to keep going; it was a vision of what could be after carrying the weight of a poor choice. The bike was restored to its previous condition and the boy was changed forever.

This is the journey of a hero. It’s not so much Herculean perfection, but persistent forward momentum that define a hero’s journey and make it so important. It’s a cycle of decision making, mentorship, courage, stumbling blocks, hard work, perseverance, and intrinsic power to achieve. And it’s a path we can help set our children on at a young age and foster throughout their lives. Here are 3 simple ways to nurture our hero’s journey at home:

1.) Value personhood over perfection

That may sound obvious, but what does believing that truth actually look like? We get a good feel of our own belief of this sentiment the first time our perfect babies utter the word, “no.” But, behind that perceived bout of defiance is really a human soul with unique passions and unfound aspirations. Choosing to set boundaries while honoring the personhood of our child(ren) is not always easy, but it’s the path that leads to a child choosing to do what they ought in the face of opposition, because they know who they are is respected and valued.

2.) Nurture emotional regulation over behavior management

As easy as it is to want to control the atmosphere of our homes with behavior management, remembering that the root of discipline is disciple, or student, helps reframe our discipline from correction to guidance. Instead of “how can I fix this behavior,” we are more inclined to wonder, “how can I teach a new skill?” This not only has practical application for improving behavior, it teaches a lesson in and of itself that growth is more important than compliance in your home–which leads into the next suggestion:

3.) Nourish a growth-mindset

Each of the above suggestions will help in fostering a growth mindset along a hero’s journey. But another simple way to do this in your home is by calling out what you value in the work of your children by praising the effort you see them use. Being uniquely aware of your child’s goals, aspirations, and talents, puts parents in a particularly influential place to develop the intrinsic work ethic of a journeying hero by allowing them the freedom and accountability of working toward their own dreams. Rather than praising outcomes of a child’s work, we can recognize and draw particular attention to the choices they made that aided in their accomplishments. A true sense of pride comes not from a job done, but a job done well–or the work put forth to accomplish it.

Like the story of the red bike, a hero’s journey may be messy and heavy at times, but by laying a foundation at home of self-worth, personal accountability, and a growth mindset, we can ensure the journey will be worth it – and that’s what we strive to do at Acton Academy St. George.